On Being a Mama

I have a sleeping baby and a free minute with an itch to write.

To process a little. Forgive me if this post is a little scattered :)

Luke is just over three weeks old and today is the first day that I am home alone with the little guy. In a way, it feels like I am just beginning motherhood.

I am not sure that I even feel like a momma yet--it's a strange feeling. It's such a new piece of my person that I feel unsure of what to think of it or even how to fully embrace it.

I have so many words and feelings to share that I'm not even sure where to begin. How do I describe it?

Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed and confident in the same minute. Other times, I look back at our life just weeks ago and feel bittersweet about seeing it go. I love our son and love being a mom; yet, there was normalcy, independence, and less fuss before he arrived. I know that with time there will be a new normal, but right now, I'm still trying to figure out what that looks like.

Bonding with Luke was not an instantaneous moment for me. For some moms it is; for me, it wasn't. Yet, each day I feel closer and more connected with him; I feel my heart filling more and more with love for him.

Daily, I'm surprised by the unexpected parts of motherhood. Before having Luke, I knew that breastfeeding would be challenging. I didn't realize how demanding it really can be. I know that with time it will get easier, but right now, I feel a bit like a mama cow with a hungry boy. Even though it's hard, I want to do it. Even when I wake up to his hungry cries feeling groggy and grumpy in the middle of the night, I also feel so motivated to meet his needs--because I love him.

Right now, I'm learning how to dance between selflessly meeting his needs and not losing myself among the diapers, feedings, and ornery spells. How do I be both a mother and Nicole? I suppose at some point they'll mesh and balance, but because this is all so new to me, I wonder how and when that will happen.

More than anything, I want to embrace this tiny person and see him as the gift he really is. Even in the hard moments, I want to capture this time. I want to remember his gassy smiles in the middle of night, or the look he gets when I burp him, or the bright eyes that work hard to focus on me. I want to capture the moments when I snuggle him in close and his body goes limp with sleep. I want to remember his little tantrums that really are few and far between because even those are kinda cute--the way he waves his arms and scrunches up his face with so many expressions. I want to remember his milky breath and fluffy hair. I want to remember what it felt like to have his little body warming mine and curling up to me.

I think it would be (and sometimes is) easy to wish these days forward--to surge quickly through to the next stage of smiles and more interaction. I am realizing that stage of new motherhood is much the same as this wee little one sleeping next to me. It is new, learning, growing, stretching, and demanding.

Just like I want to memorize many of my newborn memories with Luke, I want to remember what being a new mom felt like.

Overwhelming. Joyful. Sweet. Demanding. Hard. Unique. Strange. Unknown. Scary. Peaceful.

A gift.

If you are a momma, do you remember those first weeks/months of being a new mom?

Newborn Essentials {A Lovely Curated List from Kimber Campbell}

**I'm so thankful to have some lovely ladies filling in while I'm busy snuggling with the little one! I absolutely adore this list of newborn essentials from Kimber!**

hello all! I'm Kimber and I blog over here in my little space of the interweb. Nice to meet you! When Nicole asked me to guest post I jumped at the idea of sharing some of my favorite newborn essentials. My daughter will be a year in May, so it took me a minute to think back to the things that got me through the first few weeks as a new momma. I have such fond memories from that sweet, sweet time. Such special memories! I know Nicole will feel the same way. I CAN'T WAIT to see pictures of her precious little bundle. She'll make such a great mom!

Okay, let's get started!

1. Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets- So, I know the whole world raves about these muslin blankets-- but there's a reason for it. They are AMAZING. I live in Texas and they were the perfect lightweight blanket that allowed me to tightly swaddle my daughter. They are a pretty decent size, so she never wiggled out of swaddle. A must- have for SURE!

2. Soothing Gel Pads-  These little round pads were heaven sent. If you are a nursing momma, they will be your BEST friend in between feedings. Put them in the freezer for a little bit for extra relief.

3. Lamb Sound Machine- We attached this little guy to my daughter's carseat for comfort while we were in the car. The ocean sound was her favorite, and was key to putting her to sleep.

4. Hand and Face Wipes- These are a staple in my diaper bag. Even though I tried to keep my daughter's hands and face covered, someone, somewhere would ALWAYS walk up and try to touch her. People can't keep their germy hands off of babies! Don't be afraid to tell them not to touch either :) I would always wipe her down after the person walked off.

5. Pamper's Swaddlers- I tried out so many different diaper brands because we were trying to find the cheapest, yet best diaper on the market. Though these might be a little more expensive, they are the absolute best, in my opinion. I like that the back of the diaper comes up further than most, preventing (a few, but not all) blowouts.

6. Boppy Pillow- Oh my arms are still thanking the Boppy for support during feedings. It wraps around your mid-section and allows you to hold the baby close in a comfortable position. I splurged and purchased a  custom cover from Anna at For the Love of Joy on Etsy. She does such an amazing job! I loved looking down at her beautiful work while nursing.

7. Portable Swing- My daughter was a swing sleeper. We purchased a big swing that stayed in the living room, but this one was nice because we could transport it wherever we were in the house. She always slept best snuggled up and rocking.

8. Sleep Gown- Not only did this keep my little girl warm, but it also was a life saver during middle of the night diaper changes. No one wants to try to snap a sleeper at 3 am!

9. Boudreaux's Butt Paste- Silly name, amazing product. I can't tell you how many times I've become super nervous with a diaper rash, rubbed some of this in and within 24 hours the rash was gone. It's incredible!

10. MAM Pacifier- Now, I know all baby's are different and prefer different pacifiers, but this was my daughter's preference. I like that it has air holes on the side so baby doesn't get a rash around his/her mouth.

**Thanks for sharing, Kimber! You guys definitely need to go check out her blog -- it's really a darling space :) Plus, her daughter is adorable!!**

10 Things all New Moms Need to Hear {A List from Life of a Pint-Sized Mama}

**I'm so thankful for the ladies who are stopping by while I soak up the newborn days with our little boy. Today, I have Mackenzie, from Life of a Pint-Sized Mama, sharing 10 things that new moms need to hear. I am definitely tucking this list away + taking it to heart!**

I've been a mom for just over a year, and it's been the best year of my life. It's true that I've never before survived on such little sleep. I never thought I'd be so knowledgeable about how to get poop out of clothing, or what shows are on TV at 3am. But every moment of this crazy ride has been worth it.

As Nicole is busy snuggling up with her precious new baby, I thought I'd 10 things I think all new moms need to hear:

1. You can do this. God has made YOU this child's mother, not anyone else. So read the books, ask for advice, and research all you want - but trust yourself because you are the best mom this baby could ever have!

2. A combination of prayer, a good cry, and some chocolate can cure just about anything.

3. Every diaper change, every time you wake up at 2am, every rinsing of a bottle is a chance to serve someone. These little things matter, even if no one else sees them. Even if you used to have a job where everyone saw your amazing talents and now no one knows the sacrifices you are making - this little stuff is an opportunity to serve the Lord in all you do. HE SEES YOU and loves you.

4. Martha Stewart does not have a newborn. Therefore, you do not need to be Martha Stewart.

5. Ask for help! We can't do this motherhood thing alone. Join a mom's group. Hire a house cleaner. Ask your sister-in-law to babysit. You need some rest and/or alone time!

6. Don't try on your pre-pregnancy clothes 2 weeks after you have your baby. That's a recipe for an emotional meltdown and an unnecessary shopping spree. Not like I'm speaking from experience or anything...

7. Let the Lord sustain you. Take even just 10 minutes during a nap time to ask Him for help, and read a Psalm or two. You need him. (SheReadsTruth has some amazing devotionals that are simple, deep, and don't take too much time to read.)

8. Multi-tasking is your best and worst enemy. Somedays you will need it to feed your baby, cook dinner, and answer an email simultaneously. On other days, resist the urge to do it all at once. Let the laundry pile sit as you memorize the way your little one yawns and the smell of their soft hair. They will only be this little for a moment. I promise.

9. You need your husband, and he needs you too. If this means getting a sitter (even just for an hour over lunch), do it. Holding hands and uninterrupted conversations will quickly become little luxuries so take them when you can.

10. Do the things you said you'd never do. Let them take the pacifier that just fell on the ground. Give them some graham crackers just to keep them happy. You weren't in the throes of motherhood when you made all those "rules," so give yourself a break when you need to.

Congratulations, Nicole! Soak up these newborn days, they are incredible. What a joy to get to steward the life of a sweet little one

**Thank you, Mackenzie, for stopping by and sharing these wonderful tips for new mamas! Be sure to go visit her blog and get to know her a bit--she really is super sweet + genuine!**

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