I still remember the first time I went inside a restaurant to pick up some food after Luke was born. It was just a week after he was born, so I just popped in quick to order. While in line, I looked around and everybody's life was going on as usual.
But I felt so out of sorts. I thought--do they know what I'm a mom? Do they know how much my life has suddenly changed in the last week? Do I look like a crazy person?
I stood there--feeling a little bizarre, hormonal, and unsure of what to do with all the newness. In a way, I almost felt a little paranoid because I realized that my life was never going to be the same.
I was a mother.
A person who is supposed to keep that little person alive.
And although motherhood hasn't changed the core of who I am, it has most definitely changed me.
More than that, it's taught me more about who I really am and who I really am not.
But what being a mom has illuminated the most is the absolute love that the Father has for me as His daughter. Sometimes, in the middle of the night while nursing Luke, I would weep for the magnitude of love I had for my son--and the tiny glimpse and understanding of the depth of God's love for me.
God loves me just as I am.
And He saved me just as I was.
And there is nothing or no one who can separate me from Him.
In Christ, I am redeemed and loved. Saved and cherished. Made new and adored.
So, on the days that who I am feels too awkward, or too much, or not enough, or too weird, or too anything, or too not-anything, I want to go back to these truths.
Who I am in Christ is beautiful.
Stunning and quite amazing actually.
Questions for today:
What experiences in your life have affirmed who you are? Do you believe that God loves you--just as you are?