But in this place, curled up next to my husband in bed, I was home. I knew this place.
After six days of sleeping on a hospital bed and tending to my little one who was in the NICU, it felt sweet to be back in that familiar place next to my husband.
Still, as I glanced over next to me, I saw our sleeping son swaddled in his cradle. And, honestly, I felt overwhelmed with how much new had come pouring into our life in the instant that he was born--how flooded I was with so many raw and unfamiliar emotions.
So, I held on to what I knew. I (literally) held onto to Josh and just remembered. I felt, in that moment, the reality of our life moving to a new place. And even though I was thrilled to be a mother and to be in this new place, it was bittersweet to watch the old waters lap away. They were waters that we would never return to see. The waters of just us. Now, we were in un-navigated territory of our marriage.
I had to hold on and let go--hold onto our marriage and fight hard for it during this new season (since babies sure can rock the boat) and let go of expecting our marriage (and life) to look the same. Really, I should say I have to hold on and let go since this is very much happening in the present--it's a daily thing for me.
Today, we celebrate five years of marriage. Five years of loving deeply. Of fighting for a Godly and healthy marriage. Of making mistakes and offering grace and forgiveness to each other.
We have had many transitions during these past five years--moving, school, new jobs, going from two cars to one, income changes...etc, but the biggest one has definitely been parenthood.
So on the cusp of the years that came and the years to come, my prayer is that we continue to hold on and let go during life's changes. I pray that we look to God to be our Navigator in uncharted waters. I pray that we continue to love deeply.
If you are married, what changes were challenging for you? Did you find that it was hard to look forward? Even when there were exciting things coming/here?
(see all the posts from 31 Days of Letting Go and Holding On}